


Tales from the Slash Side

by SonjaJade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/F, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-14
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2017-11-07 18:20:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All of the pieces within are from prompts I filled for the fma_slashfest community on Live Journal.  As time goes on, I will be adding more to this collection!  Each story contains a full header.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Dreams May Come (True)

**Title:** What Dreams May Come (True)  
 **Author:** Sonja Jade  
 **Word Count:** 1,350  
 **Rating:** M/NC17  
 **Characters:** Ed and Al  
 **Prompt:** ‘Ed/Al – Al newly human with first erection’  
 **Summary:** Al wakes Ed up, moaning and groaning in his sleep, and when he points out a certain soldier standing at attention in Al’s lap, it turns into a biology lesson in the middle of the night.  
 **Warnings:** Elricest  
 **Notes:** My first Elricest piece, I hope it doesn’t suck.  Also, for whatever reason, I could NOT find a beta to save my life for this.  I had a friend read it over but they've never beta'd before, so they prolly didn't even see any glaring errors...  I apologize if this is awful. 

 

 

Ed wasn’t usually up so late anymore, but he’d been awoken by the sound of his brother tossing, turning and moaning in pain.‘Probably just another nightmare,’ he thought as he rubbed his tired eyes and opened the window a little further to let the cool night breeze in.Hell, even after six months, _he_ still occasionally had nightmares.When he heard the sound of panting breath and the beginnings of words falling from Al’s mouth, he decided he should wake him up, spare him the misery of going any further into a realm he was helpless against.

He stumbled to his brother’s bedside and touched his shoulder.“Al!Alphonse, wake up!”More groaning and a hiss…“AL!!” he yelled just loud enough to wake him, but not everyone else.

“Don’t stop,” he whispered very clearly, leaving Edward’s eyes as big as saucers.He chanced a glance from Al’s face down to where his hips wriggled…There it was, the support pole of the tent Al was pitching with the bed sheet.The overwhelming urge to laugh bubbled up from his stomach and he clapped his hand over his mouth to stifle it.Chuckling under his breath, he shook Al hard one last time.

“Al, Mei’s here!Get up quick!!”

In an instant the boy had sat straight up out of bed, then looked around dazedly until reality sunk in.“What…What’s going on?”Laughing as quietly as he could manage, Ed pointed to the pup tent in Al’s lap, and then fell apart when Al cried out in embarrassment, “OHMIGOSH!!!”He grabbed his pillow and hugged it to his stomach, burying his face in the opposite end.

“Jeeze Al!Like I’ve never seen one before,” he snickered as he sat down beside him, his arm around his shoulders.

“Well I…I-I haven’t.”

Ed cocked his head.“Really?This your first one?”It took Al a moment to find the courage to answer, but he finally did speak.

“I’m pretty sure it’s not the very first…I’ve woke up with my pants sticky before, but I’ve never actually seen it like this.I never… I’ve never _touched_ it.

“Ahh,” Ed nodded sagely.“Well, for starters, you shouldn’t just leave it like that.You need to take care of it or it’s gonna hurt.”

Al looked up at him, “Hurt?”

“Yeah.It’s called ‘Blue Balls’.The rule of thumb is if you’re able to take care of it, you should.It also helps keep another one at bay for a while.”He saw how mortified his still recovering brother was.“It’s alright Al.Haven’t you ever read a biology book?This is completely normal for guys your age, and some even younger.And from what I understand, jerking off is a tool you’ll use for the rest of your life. Or so I heard once.”

Al groaned into his pillow. “I really don’t want to talk about _this_ with my brother.”

“Oh come on!” Ed said, playfully shoving Al’s arm.Then a thought struck him.“Wait, if you’ve never seen your own erection…Al, you don’t know how to even do it, do you?”The grumble that emanated from the clutched pillow was all he needed to hear.Ed shushed him and said, “Look, it’s really easy.I can show you how to do it.”

“What?!” Al nearly screamed.“I don’t wanna watch you-”

“Who said anything about watchin’ me?You’re the one with the boner!”After that outburst, Ed was fairly sure the thing had gone down substantially by now, but he wasn’t going to let Al go on without knowing how to handle (ha-ha) the situation when it came up (HA-HA!) again in the future.He bent and dug around under his bed for a moment, the popped back up with a very worn magazine.“Here, look at this.”

Al took one look at the cover and all but covered his eyes.Ed started goading him about being a baby and opened it up to a particularly favorite photo.“Look.Big, soft boobs, curvy hips, and look at her face…She wants it… wants _you_.”

“I-i-it’s just a picture…” Al stammered, unable to tear his eyes from the peaked nipples of the model in the photo.Ed took Al’s hand and made him drag his finger across the girl’s body.

“You can touch, Al.You can imagine what she feels like.From her warm, smooth skin right down the fuzzy patch of hair on her-”

“It’s throbbing, what’s wrong??” he whined.

Ed chewed his lip for a moment…He’d been his brother’s guide through everything, should he guide him through this too?Should he even entertain the thought of just… _jerking it for him_ and _show_ him how to do it?The panic in Al’s face made the decision.

Edward adjusted his position and wrapped one arm around his kid brother’s shoulders.“It’s gonna be alright.That’s normal when you wait so long.”His smooth right hand slid slowly from Al’s knee up his thigh, and Al gave a shuddering gasp in the dim light of their shared room.“Just relax and feel.” Ed gave a soft kiss to his brother’s neck as he slipped inside the cotton barriers between Al’s skin and his clothing.Wiry curls, heat, and a very thick and hard cock greeted his touch as Al’s breathing raced suddenly into panted, almost gasping breaths.

Ed knew that it probably wouldn’t take him long to finish, especially the way his brother’s hips were reflexively jerking in an uneven rhythm with Ed’s slow strokes.

“Brother!” he whispered.“This is… bad!!” he said as his head lolled toward Ed’s.But when their eyes met, Ed saw the opposite of that was written in his gaze, and he couldn’t help but to lean down and kiss him.As Ed taught his brother how to kiss with his mouth open, he began to pump the flesh in his hand harder, squeeze a little tighter… and that’s when Al’s mouth disengaged from Ed’s.He threw his head back, hips jerking erratically and his raspy voice crying out softly for his brother not to stop on penalty of being sent back to the Gate for good.Ed continued to nip at Al’s neck and ear, and then the younger brother held his breath for a moment…

Ed watched as short ribbons of thick, sticky cum burst from his dark red cock, making a mess of his boxers and the waistband of his pajama bottoms.Al’s chest heaved with relief and satisfaction.He’d never known it was supposed to feel like _that_ …Textbooks made masturbation sound so clinical and about as enjoyable as trimming your fingernails.Every nerve ending in his body was singing with the rush of his orgasm, and he looked into his brother’s eyes and gave a lazy and sated smile.“Thank you.”

Ed smirked back.“Don’t mention it.Now you know how to handle it when it happens again.”

Al’s face pinked, “Brother?Does this mean I… that I’m… _gay?_ ”

Ed brushed the comment off with a snicker.“Don’t worry, I’m sure your cock will like Mei’s hands a lot better than mine.You’re about as gay as I am.”He saw the worried look on Al’s face.“Al, why would I have a porno mag full of naked women if I was gay?”

“Why would you jerk your little brother off in the middle of the night if you _weren’t_?”

Ed sighed as he crawled back into bed.“Because my little brother didn’t know what to do, and it was easier to show him rather than explain it all in scientific terms that he already knew and didn’t comprehend.Now get cleaned up and go back to bed, will ya!?”

Al stood up.“Kisses, Ed?”

“Hey, you got the whole package, quit bitchin’!You weren’t complaining a few minutes ago!” As Al finally dropped the subject, Ed rolled over in bed and wondered if he’d made the right decision in indulging in his innermost fantasy… and wondered how long it would take his own erection to go away.


	2. Love Gun

**Title** : Love Gun  
 **Author** : Sonja Jade  
 **Word Count** : 1,883  
 **Rating** : NC17  
 **Characters** : Ed and Havoc  
 **Prompt** : 9 Havoc/Ed – Teaching Ed how to use a gun  
 **Summary** : How Havoc managed to work biology into firing gun was beyond Ed…  
 **Warnings** : Tension  
 **Notes** : No lie, I had “Love Gun” by Kiss on repeat when I wrote this XD  Big hugs to my beta [**bay115**](http://bay115.livejournal.com/)  who was a huge help with this.

 

 

When I gave up alchemy, I wasn’t thinking of how I would protect a family… I was only thinking of getting Al’s body back and probably thought everything would work itself out in the long run.Well, young and dumb, like they say.Years later I would have to think of Winry working among all those thugs in Rush Valley, and wondered how I could protect her without hurting myself or an innocent person.And though she insisted I not do it, I decided to call up the Colonel- sorry, the _General_ \- and ask him what he recommended I do (considering I not only had to be able to take care of my wrench hurling woman, but eventually the life growing in her belly).And that’s how I ended up in East City at the gun range with Jean Havoc, 1st Lieutenant Amestrian Army; retired.And trust me when I tell you that I was not prepared for anything that happened that day.

I’d only held a gun a few times in my life before that day, and I wasn’t confident _at all_ in holding the state issued pistol Havoc had given me as a congratulations present for ‘knocking my old lady up’.It was heavier than I expected, colder than I remembered, and all of the fear I had when I first held a gun was still there.Then things started getting weird for me.

“Alright, you can’t just pick up a gun and shoot it,” he said, that cigarette dangling from his mouth like always and that acrid smoke clinging to the humid air around us.“Just like I don’t know the first thing about alchemy, you don’t know the first thing about firearms, Ed.And the first thing you have to know is your weapon, inside and out.”I never took my eyes off of him for a second, but he moved so quickly there was no way I could ever remember what he did to that pistol.There were clicks and clacks and parts flying everywhere, and in under a minute it was broken down into pieces on a cloth.He pointed to different parts and told me what they were and what it did and all, but he went so fast…

And then he said, “Firing a gun is like making love to a woman, Ed.You have to take the time to get to know what makes her work, what she likes and how to make her do whatever your fingers want her to do.If you don’t do it right, she won’t give you the big bang,” he said with a wink.And that was the first time I _really_ looked into his eyes…Blue eyes like Winry’s, but with the sly look of a cunning predator… and I melted inside.I had a vision of being on my back, my hands pinned over my head, and those blue eyes bearing down on me; the only thing I could see.I could almost feel his strong, smoky hand wrapped around my dick and pumping furiously, demanding without words that I come for him and him alone…I tried to hold my fuckin’ composure, because it scared the hell out of me that I was having such an obscene thought… but not only was I afraid that my face would give me away, it felt right to think of him like that.The man practically oozed sex appeal; it’s no wonder that I was attracted to him on the day of my first lesson.

Havoc reassembled the gun and handed it to me, giving me the clip separately.“Show me how you put that baby in Winry’s belly.”My mouth dropped open a little, then I realized he was still rolling with the ‘your gun is a woman’ metaphor, and I looked down at the clip in my hand.I slid it slowly into the putt of the gun, only to hear the man laughing at me.He took the gun, pressed a release somewhere, and the clip fell out into his hand.

“I doubt you were fuckin’ her that slow.Wasn’t it more like this?”And he slammed the clip in with a shove, the heel of his hand smacking the bottom of the grip.He released and slapped the clip in over and over again, on purpose I’m sure, driving the penetration image into my skull…He forced me to ponder what it would feel like if in addition to being gripped by my manhood and stared down by those dominant blue eyes… what would it feel like if he was _inside me_?

“When a man and a woman love each other very much, or when the man has enough money in his hand,” he teased, “the woman lets the man put his cock into her pussy.When they reach a point of no return, the man spills his seed inside her, and this guy’s seed is rounds of ammunition.”He shook the box of bullets he had sitting on the little table in our stall.“And when your finger pulls _just so_ on her trigger, she’ll come for you.She’ll gasp so loud it’ll pop your ears, and the baby will come shooting out the end of her barrel, hell bent on destroying the fuck outta something.Little guy’s a rebel from his first breath.”He handed the gun back to me, along with the clip.“Now.Show me how you really fuck your wife.”

I rammed the clip in as hard as I could, and when his fingers found mine, I fought to breathe…The contact was electric and my skin seemed to tingle wherever he’d touched me.He showed me where the release was, and I dropped the clip out into my palm and shoved it home, again and again as he had.After a few times, he gestured for me to step up to the edge of the cement, looking out at the target about twenty yards away.He pulled his own pistol from his shoulder holster, and said, “I don’t know how much experience you have with women, but you always play it safe until you’re ready to get serious with the one who will bear your children.Always keep the safety on until it’s time.”He thumbed the little switch back, and his finger moved from around the trigger guard to the trigger itself.“And you never, ever touch a woman’s trigger unless you’re serious.”

I wish I’d had a camera.The sunlight hit him just right as he stood tall and lean in the afternoon sun…His right arm was fully extended, the barrel of the gun pointing at the colored target at the end of the line, eyes narrowed and focused, his cigarette smoking quietly in the breeze.His feet were shoulder width apart, and his left hand dangled by his side, relaxed, as if he were simply pointing his finger in the distance.Everything about this moment was frozen in time and stuck in my mind like a fly trapped in honey…Jean Havoc’s presence was the epitome of masculinity, of ‘BAD ASS’, of cool confidence and layman’s wisdom.For the first time in my life- hell, the _only_ time in my life- I had fallen madly in love with a _man._

He shot twenty rounds into the cardboard target dangling in the distance, and each one of them made my entire groin shiver with lust. _BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!_ I pictured him bending me over the back of a chair, his fist in my hair and slamming into me from behind, just like that clip he’d forced into his gun umpteen times; pushing into me so hard that our balls would slap together in the most beautiful way, imitating the sound the pistol made when you first cock it…

Suddenly the air was quiet, and he turned toward me.“Go on, you try,” Havoc said as he slid his clip out and laid it next to the box of shells.I stepped up to the line where hard packed dirt met smooth concrete.I tried to stand as he did, and then I felt his arms come around me and I swear I think I whimpered.

“Nope, you’re gonna need both hands until you get better.”He guided me into the proper stance, though it was hard as hell to think with all the blood rushing to my fucking dick.He was warm against me, and he smelled like expensive cologne and Buffalo Full Flavor cigarettes.

“Hold her tight, ‘cause she’ll buck when she comes…”His hands moved away from mine and slipped to over my biceps…“Make her come, Ed.”

My finger squeezed hesitantly, not knowing how much pressure to apply or if the kick back would knock me down…The force of the shot only jerked my arm a little, but it was enough to gently nudge my back into Havoc’s chest, and I gasped.I had all this power in my hands…A metal object that could kill and destroy, and I had the sexiest man alive beside me showing me how to use it.

I’d been on edge since our lesson began, and after about the fourth or fifth shot, I came in my pants.I would never look at a gun, or Havoc, the same way again.I didn’t mention anything about it, but he seemed to know.Maybe that was the way _he’d_ been taught to shoot a gun, and maybe the same thing had happened to him.He reeled the target in.All of his were neatly aimed across the very bottom, leaving me with almost the entire target.I missed half the shots, and only one ended up hitting the black shadow of the faceless villain I needed to attack.

“I wasn’t even expecting you to hit it at all,” he said as he patted my shoulder.“We’ll shoot a few more times, then I’ll show you how to take it apart and clean it for next time.”

The rest of the time went smoothly.The correlations between the weapon and a woman were dropped, and by the time our lesson was through, all I wanted to do was go home, scrub the dried cum off of me, and thoroughly fuck the shit out of my wife to prove to myself that I wasn’t a fairy.

I gathered up the gun case and the third and best of my targets that I’d shot, and walked to my car, the one I’d bought with the last of my research funds.I threw my stuff in the back and shook Havoc’s hand, trying to ignore the butterflies twisting in my guts.“I think in the long run Winry’s gonna appreciate me learning this.I can’t thank you enough for taking time out to show me how to do it the right way.”

“No problem, Ed,” he smiled.“One suggestion though for next time: bring a change of shorts if you plan on coming like that again.No body should have to ride home in sticky pants.”He winked as my jaw dropped, stepped over to his pickup truck, started the engine, and drove away with a wave.

Yep, I definitely needed a shower and a good, hard fuck.


	3. Xingese Breakfast

**Title:** Xingese Breakfast  
 **Author:** Sonja Jade  
 **Word Count:** 2,755  
 **Rating:** NC17  
 **Characters:** Al/Ling  
 **Prompt:** Ling/Alphonse – sexual awakenings in Xing (feel free to introduce toys)  
 **Summary:** Ling takes upon himself to personally introduce Alphonse to a popular Xingese custom, and this breakfast is nothing like the ones back home…  
 **Warnings:** food sex  
 **Notes:** I took a little liberty with the definition of ‘toys’. There’s some fruits being used for things they weren’t intended for, but I think it works.  Supposed to be posted on the 21st but I just couldn't wait any longer to share!  
  
HUGE THANKS to my beta [**bay115**](http://bay115.livejournal.com/)!!!  
  
  
Alphonse Elric hadn’t been in Xing a week and already he was sure he’d made the right decision in traveling east. The first night there had been food and wine, so much that he wasn’t even sure where one meal had ended and the other began. There had been Mei, soft and sweet and young; his first encounter with the naked female form. There had been sightseeing, cultural immersion, and very little alkahestry (which didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would).  
  
Then on the fourth night, there had been an orgy with all the concubines Ling had acquired so far, around twenty-three women, as well as several young men. Al had never seen anything like it: an entire room writhing as one, everyone lost to their collective passions and gasping and crying out in Xingese. He had no idea sex with a man could feel as mind numbing as it did with a woman. He had no idea he would like the taste of a woman’s pink pussy or the taste of a man’s swollen cock, and the fluids he coaxed from both. He had no idea that his body was even capable of multiple orgasms. After the fifth one he passed out, and then the next morning he awoke with his head pillowed on some young woman’s ass. The smell of sex was thick and he felt sticky in places he didn’t even know he had.  
  
Today though, two days after the most decadent night he’d ever had, he found himself in an entirely new situation. Leave it to Ling to find some beneficial reason in the act of tying him down to a silken futon, blindfolded and completely nude.  
  
“I swear, when you Elric boys do something, you do it big,” Ling chuckled.  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Al asked, testing the strength of the ropes. There was very little give in the ties that secured him to a metal frame surrounding the mattress; he wouldn’t be escaping from them on his own.  
  
“Well, you lost your precious virginity to my little sister practically as soon as you crossed the border into my country, then you follow that up by fucking eight of my concubines into hysterics. And that one servant, the one with the scars on his shoulder… He’s still talking about how well you blew his mind.” Ling’s long fingers trailed slowly up Al’s shin, causing him to shiver. “Tell me, what is it about my people that excites you so much?” While Al answered him, he quietly began to remove his own clothing.  
  
“I don’t really know… I think it all started with Mei. I.. I love her in a way unlike anyone I’ve ever known. She’s what I think of when I hear the word ‘Xing’ or ‘Xingese’. And all of you are sort of part of her.”  
  
“You’re so adorable!” Ling squealed. “A foreigner who doesn’t care that our eyes are little more slanted or that our skin is a little more golden! Forget alkahestry, you need to teach the _entire world_ how to be so tolerant and accepting of other people!” He grinned as he sauntered over to where Al’s head lay, brilliant red silk tightly covering his eyes. “Today I’m going to show you what a proper Xingese breakfast is.”  
  
“Breakfast?” he asked. “But how am I supposed to eat when I’m strapped to a bed and blindfolded?”  
  
He leaned down close to Al’s ear and murmured darkly, “There will be plenty of enjoyment as we muddle through the meal…” He gave a slow lick to Al’s earlobe, watching how the boy’s limp cock began to rise. “Yes, that’s it.”  
  
Ling dropped kisses along Al’s jaw and then claimed his mouth, their tongues sweeping slowly over each other all while the Emperor’s hand traced down to his guest’s nipple, thumbing over it and lightly pinching and twisting. Ling swallowed Al’s soft groans and then pulled away, leaving Al to deal with his racing heart and panting breath.  
  
“And now it’s time to eat!” Ling said cheerfully, as if nothing had just happened.  
  
Al wanted nothing more than for Ling to continue his physical teasing, but instead he heard the sound of bare feet walking off a short distance and then returning. He felt something small and chilly being dragged over his chest and down to his belly button, and then it was gone.  
  
“What do you smell?”  
  
Al took a sniff, and said, “Strawberries.”  
  
“Very good! Take a bite, Al.”  
  
Al opened his mouth, the tip of the berry slipping in slowly before his teeth sank into the juicy piece of fruit. It was cool, sweet, and very tasty. As he savored the taste of it, he felt the wet flesh of the remainder sliding over his throat and chest. When Ling’s warm mouth followed the trail of juice left behind, Al’s reflexes caused his arms and legs to go taut against the ropes. A hot tongue at his collarbone moved to his chest, and then blunt teeth nibbled gently on the peaked flesh of his tingling nipple. It felt as if Ling was slowly devouring him, and the sensation was exhilarating. He could hear the Emperor’s breath, feel the heat of his well trained body against his, and when he spoke, his tone was dark and full of mischief.  
  
“Do you want more?”  
  
“Yes,” Al hissed, relaxing back into the futon once more, only to repeat the action when Ling offered him a second bite. His cock was so hard now, and the slightest sensations- the breeze moving through the open window, his own jerky reflexes- nearly sent him into spasms. And then he felt something new come into play. “What’s that?”  
  
Ling said something in Xingese that Al didn’t understand, then he clarified, “You might call it a cock ring, but this isn’t a ring. It’s like a tiny noose.” He jerked it tight around the base of Al’s rock hard erection. “It’s to keep you from coming.”  
  
“But… I thought that’s what I’m supposed to do?” he whimpered.  
  
“It is, but now you’ll only be able to come when _I_ want you to.” He picked up a small pot. “We’re not finished with our feast. I can’t have you coming too soon. What do you smell now?” he asked as he took off the lid and used it to fan the aroma toward Al.  
  
“H-honey?”  
  
“Yes, darling?” Ling laughed at his own joke. He took the dripper and drizzled it in a sloppy nonsense pattern all over Al’s face and mouth, then down his body, all the way to his toes. He left liberal amounts on Al’s raging cock and then proceeded to lick the boy all over. Al groaned, his arms and legs pulling once again helplessly on the hemp ropes. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought about rope burns on his wrists and ankles, but the thought soon flew from him as Ling’s hands roamed all over him, sticky and clinging and electrifying his skin. Finally, rational thought returned for a moment and he forced himself to relax in his restraints.  
  
Al’s psyche was reeling. Ling was so good at torturing him. All Al wanted to do was shove him to his back and fuck him as hard as he could. But these damn ropes, and being _blind_ … And _fuck_ was Ling licking his _balls_? He groaned at the feeling of his friend’s hot tongue gliding over the thick, sticky honey all caught up in his curls and he gasped Ling’s name. Then like a phantom, his presence was gone, though he could feel warm saliva and honey dripping down onto the very bottom of his buttocks and pooling between his legs.  
  
Ling walked back to the platter of fruit. He grabbed a peach and took a big bite, chewing it up good before kissing Al and passing it to him, and once he’d swallowed it they shared another deep kiss. Ling offered the peach to Al and he returned the gesture, and this bite swapping and kissing routine continued until only the pit remained. Ling tossed it out the window and pulled another fruit from the pile. “The key to a good breakfast is proper nutrition, they say. What do you smell now, Alphonse?”  
  
Al scented the air in front of him. “A banana?” Ling hummed an affirmative and then peeled it. Al felt the end of it being softly drawn around his mouth and cheeks, and when he opened up, he didn’t bite down. Instead he sucked the tip and encouraged Ling to slide it deeper into his mouth. In and out, in and out, in and out…  
  
The fruit’s texture was nothing like a slickened feel of a man’s cock in his mouth, but it was familiar all the same. However, through friction, suction, saliva and repetition, the banana’s flesh was soon worn smooth. He tried to kiss the end, but Ling bopped his nose with it, so he ran his tongue out instead and began laving it. Ling chuckled and pushed it in his mouth one last time.  
  
“Now, now! You shouldn't play with your food, Al. Take a big bite for me and swallow it down!”  
  
Al did as he was told, chewing carefully and swallowing a little at a time to avoid choking on it. The banana was pulled away, but the scent was all around his mouth and cheeks. And then his senses reminded him of the night of the great orgy when another familiar aroma filled his nostrils. He felt warm, velvety soft skin brushing against his lips and soft hair tickling his cheek. The scent was unmistakable…  
  
“What do you feel? What do you smell?”  
  
Al’s cheek nuzzled the flesh that now caressed his cheek. “You. Ling Yao.”  
  
“No meal is complete without a good amount of protein, wouldn’t you agree?”  
  
“Yes,” Al immediately agreed.  
  
“Taste me, drink me.” Like an obedient pup, Al’s lips parted and Ling slid inside that soft cavern, Al’s tongue and lips working to create a delirious suction that Ling had to throw his head back in order to properly appreciate it. Al’s head bobbed as much as it could, considering his restrained state, and Ling encouraged his efforts. “Yes, just like that… Nnng, yes, yes, yessssss,” he whispered, his hand landing on Al’s head and trembling there. It didn’t take long before Al felt the Emperor’s maleness swell, signaling his release. Ling groaned helplessly, “Swallow it all, Al!”  
  
Al felt warm bursts of salty bitterness spilling into his mouth, and he did indeed swallow it, every single drop. And when Ling’s jerking thrusts subsided, he continued to gently lap at the semi turgid member, long soothing strokes that only served to stimulate him back to full capacity once more. When he withdrew, Al pouted, “I was enjoying that.”  
  
“Oh, I was too,” Ling agreed, “but it’s time to move on. It’s time for you to have your morning dessert.” Ling moved to the end of the futon where Al’s legs were bound. With a pull of a pin and a simple adjustment, he moved Al’s legs into the air, then slipped the pin back in to the metal frame his friend was tied to. He grabbed another banana, this time dipping the peel and all into the honey pot and laid down on his belly, his mouth before Al’s straining cock and the dripping banana teasing the outside of Al’s rear entrance.  
  
“I don’t know what you’re doing down there, but don’t stick anything in my ass, Ling!” Al cried out.  
  
“Just relax, you’ll like it.” He lined up and began to push oh so slowly. “If you don’t I’ll step down and you can be Emperor.”  
  
Al felt himself being stretched open, and he tensed. Then he remembered to breathe and he really did try to relax. The banana was smooth, well lubed with the honey, and it didn’t hurt much at all. And then Ling changed the angle the thing was being pushed at and Al suddenly discovered why Ling had laid his empire on the line. Behind the blindfold, he eyes shot open, and all he could see was a haze of dark red. Not that it mattered… Whatever it was Ling had done to him had taken his breath and forced all color from his vision anyway. He sang out in a pitch he was sure hadn’t come from his mouth since he was six years old, and his hips rocked frantically of their own accord. “More!! More, faster!! Oh _please_ more, Ling!!!” Then there was a hand being wrapped around his honey covered cock, pumping in time with the banana, and Al was sure he was going to die. His heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute, and all he could do was twist in the ropes and beg for more as his balls felt tight and achy in a painful pleasure kind of way. “Dammit, let me come, Ling! I need to come so bad!”  
  
Ling quickly moved away, leaving the banana and reaching out for one of his swords. He sliced through the ropes and pulled the young man to his hands and knees. Ling pulled the banana from Al’s body then reached down and lined himself up to take the fruit’s place. “You wanna come, Al Elric?”  
  
“Yes, please!” he begged, face down in what was luxurious silk before the morning’s escapade began. He felt Ling’s fingers loosening the noose around his cock, and then gasped as the Emperor made a fist around him, pumping him gently as he slipped inside.  
  
“I’m gonna come too, deep inside you… Is that alright?”  
  
“Ahhh!” he cried out as Ling’s flesh began its loving assault on that sacred place inside him. “Yes! Come inside me, please!”  
  
Ling pumped his needy dick harder, thrust inside him faster, and moments later, thick splotches of white spewed forth and covered the Emperor’s hand, his bed, and parts of Al’s stomach. But Ling didn’t stop. He drove deeper into Al’s body, spearing into the secret pleasure zone inside that Al didn’t know he had until minutes ago. His celestial highness gathered him close to his chest, his hands moving all over, scratching and nipping just hard enough. Before Al knew it he could feel the life coming back to his member, springing upright once more.  
  
“You’re tightening up…” Ling panted. “You’re gonna make me come!”  
  
“Please, give it all to me…” Al moaned as Ling squeezed his sack, still sticky in sweet honey. Suddenly, he found himself face first in the sheet again, Ling growling behind him, and felt warmth spreading inside his over wound body. Ling ground his hips against Al’s round ass and let the boy milk his length for every last bit of his cum, and then he slid slowly out.  
  
“On your back,” he grunted as he moved out of the way. When Al was lying back again, Ling leaned forward for a hungry kiss, snatching the blindfold away before grabbing the foreigner’s dick and sliding himself onto its rigidness. “Gods, Al… Yours is the biggest… I’ve ever taken!” he gasped. Once he was seated in Al’s lap, he began to move fluidly over him, bouncing down to meet Al’s inexperienced thrusts. “Now… you come inside me, alright?”  
  
Al only nodded, nearing that point of no return once more now that he was fully sheathed inside Ling’s tight, hot body. One hand gripped the Emperor’s hip and the other fisted his unyielding length and stroked him as fast as he could manage while feeling his gracious host’s body rippling around him. “I’m close,” he said through gritted teeth.  
  
“Me too,” Ling replied breathlessly.  
  
And then when they were both too far gone to speak, Al nearly sat straight up as he filled Ling’s body with liquid heat, and seconds after that Ling responded in kind by splattering Al’s chest with his own sticky essence. In the aftermath, the two of them held each other, gasping for breath and riding that blissful wave of euphoria. A long moment later, Al mumbled, “Thank you.”  
  
Ling chuckled and touched Al’s chin, leaning his head back and kissing him softly. “You are my guest, it’s my job to show you every luxury available in my royal home.”  
  
Al smiled weakly. “That was some breakfast.”  
  
Another chuckle from Ling as he pried his sticky thighs from Al’s sticky lap. “You should see what we do for lunch!”


	4. Soul Sisters

**Title** : Soul Sisters  
 **Author** : Sonja Jade  
 **Word Count** : 2,47  
 **Rating** : M  
 **Characters** : Riza/LanFan, Ling, Roy (mentions of Royai and LingFan)  
 **Prompt** : 2 Riza/Lan Fan (Manga/Brotherhood): Loyalty  
 **Summary** : It doesn’t matter how they feel, they’ve got a job to do.  These twins born hundreds of miles and thirteen years apart know each other better than they realize…  
 **Warnings** : Angsty as hell!  
 **Notes** : Trying my hand at 2nd POV, please let me know what you think!  As always, a huge thanks to my beta [**missyquill**](http://missyquill.livejournal.com/).  Written for the spring round of the [**fma_slashfest**](http://fma-slashfest.livejournal.com/)

  


You glance to your left and see a girl who’s almost a woman now and you wonder (not for the first time) how long she’s been guarding her Young Lord, the Emperor of Xing.  When you first met Lan Fan, she was agonizing in a makeshift operating room, biting down on rolled up rags as Dr. Knox cleaned and stitched the place where her left arm had been.  That girl, that _child_ had given up her arm to save her master’s life.  She’d done it without a thought and your resolve to protect your commanding officer wavered just a bit.

Could you have done the same?  Could you have so willingly laid down _a part of your body_ to save him if you had to?  Now, you look at her and are in awe of all she has endured and the fact she continued to serve His Celestial Highness.  You’ve known all along there was a parallel between the two of you: two women, lethal and tenacious, backing up men who had a dream for their country and fellow citizens. 

You clear your throat, because you have to know…  When you look over at her she is looking back with eyes you can’t read.  “Do you love him?”

She responds at first with a wide eyed stare, then her glare softens, maybe seeing the desperation in your own eyes to know that you aren’t the only foolish woman behind a stubborn oaf of a dream-filled commander.  Her body relaxes minutely and she gives a single nod.  Her voice is barely above a whisper when she asks, “And you?”

You allow a tiny smile on your lips.  “Yes.”

“Does he know?”

You feel the heat rise in your face, certain he does but uncertain if you want her to know…  “I’m not sure.”

  
Lan Fan assumes her rigid position once more and you’re sure that your short conversation is at an end.  But then she surprises you by saying, “He made me tell him once.  He knows, but he cannot treat me any differently…”  She slumps a little and you already know what is going to be said before the words fall from her lips.  “Though he returns the sentiment, it can never be.”

Your insides ache for her; for both of you.  “You’ve known him since you were a child, haven’t you?”

“Since I was eight.  We trained together everyday at the dojo until I was twelve, and that’s when I became his shadow.”  She looks lost in the past for a moment, then she adds, “I knew even then how I felt for him, despite his immaturity and impulsive nature.”

Your own mind wanders to a dry, dusty day in summer, when a skinny fourteen year old boy stepped into your house with wide, fearful eyes, probably afraid that the house was going to fall down around him if he so much as sneezed.  The first time he spoke to you, you knew he was trouble…  He hung on every word you spoke, watched you with a great curiosity as you did the most mundane of things, and he seemed to genuinely care about you.  The one time you slipped and nearly lobbed your finger off in the kitchen, he frantically tended to your wound while your father didn’t even move from his chair at the sound of your panicked cries.  And when he died, Roy was there to hold you while you shook with tears, tears that fell not from grief but from relief.  You were relieved of the neglected property you lived on, relieved of walking on eggshells around a crazy alchemist who often didn’t sleep or eat for days.  And when Roy’s hands fell soft on your back, tracing the alchemic array that would give birth to the Flame Alchemist, you were relieved of your virginity, the one and only time your desire for him was ever realized, though you wonder if he did it out of love or pity for the bright red ink on your back.

“I was twelve when Führer Mustang came to stay with my father and I.  My father taught him alchemy.”  You shift your weight and lean toward the door a fraction, listening for any signs of the two leaders being finished with their discussion.  Unable to discern any change you straighten up again and offer to her, “I’ve been at his back since the end of the Ishvallan Conflict.  It’s been a very long and lonely fifteen years.”

Lan Fan nods in agreement.  “A long, lonely time indeed.”

This time when your eyes meet, something happens.  Some kind of invisible switch is flipped and you feel like you connect with this young woman as if you’d known her your entire life.  You see tears brimming in her eyes, which triggers stinging drops of your own to form… 

Suddenly the door opens and Emperor Yao and Führer Mustang exit, both talking excitably and amiably.  You and your new friend fall in behind them, and taking advantage of the moment of privacy, you gently touch her shoulder before quickly dropping it.  You hope she accepts it as the comforting gesture you meant it to be.  Poor thing will likely die not ever knowing the touch of her Lord…  You at least got to have Roy once.

“Why don’t we give these poor women the night off,” Ling suggests.  “I doubt they’ll want to stick around while we play with the concubines anyway.”

“Col. Hawkeye,” Mustang says over his shoulder.  “The Emperor tells me there are magnificent hot springs all over the property.  Perhaps you could enjoy a nice relaxing soak.”  Ling agrees with him, orders Lan Fan to lead you to the one in his private courtyard, and winks when he says he and the Führer will be thoroughly detained until morning.

You hope your eyes don’t give you away, the disappointment in knowing the man you love is going to lie with many nameless women very shortly.  He dismisses you with a sort of apologetic smile, and they proceed on as you stop and watch them walk further down the hall.  That’s when you feel the timid touch of Lan Fan’s hand on _your_ shoulder.

“Remember, we are not supposed to touch.  It is the concubines’ duty to what we cannot even dream about.”  She watches for a moment with you, her lord’s long robes trailing around a corner and tucking the two men out of sight.  “At least they will find some relief.”  She motions for you to follow her to the secluded Royal Garden and your feet carry you numbly behind her.

***********

The phrase ‘Something in the water’ takes on a whole new meaning for you.  The springs are warm and comforting, scenting of fragrant flowers that are trying to mask the slight sulphur odor.  Lan Fan strips down and joins you, unashamed of her nudity as you were.  After all, everyone in this culture is accustomed to bathing together; it’s as natural as hanging out at the ice cream parlor back home.  The toned girl beside you brings warm alcohol with her, saying it makes a bitter pill easier to swallow.  And then the two of you drink and soak together, two lotus flowers floating in a pond filled with the tears of impossible affections.

And that’s when you begin to unravel.  Here you are, hundreds of miles away from any Amestrian official who could give a flying fuck about the frat regs, and rather than retiring early and indulging in what you hoped Roy knew he could take so freely, he accompanies that oversexed kid Emperor to go have fun with his royal harem.  Maybe it was unrequited love after all, and that thought breaks the dam your tears have been hiding behind for so long.

Lan Fan knows.  She swishes through the water to your side and puts her arms around you.  You sob into her shoulder, the one that’s half metal.  She smells like machine oil, which reminds you of gun oil and the night you spent with Jean Havoc.  You cry harder because you treated a kind man terribly by asking him to pretend to be someone else.  You remember how you doused in him Mustang’s cologne and made him gargle the brand of whiskey he favored and even called him Roy when you came.  In your drunken mind, you resolve to apologize profusely to him for that, but before that can happen you feel unsure fingers trailing gently down to brush across your nipple.  Your sobs stop for a moment as you try to focus and figure out what the hell’s going on.

“He is stupid for not seeing you as a beautiful woman…  For not at least trying to make it work, even if it must be a secret affair.”  The metal hand cups your breast and you’re surprised to feel aroused at her touch.  Surely she must be intending to soothe and not incite your passion… right?

You look into her eyes and see yourself reflected back in every sense of the word.  She has been where you have been, she has done what you have done, she endures what you endure…  She is your twin born to foreigners thirteen years too late.  All the pain, all the loneliness- she understands.  She _gets it_.

Suddenly her touch is gone and she is moving to get out of the spring.  You blink in confusion and softly call her name.  Her golden form turns gracefully in the water and she replies, “I’m sorry, Hawkeye-sama.  I have overstepped my bounds because I’ve been drinking.  My sincerest apologies.”  She bows and looks as if she’s about to exit the spring when you stumble quickly toward her.

And everything seems to happen all at once.  Your slender fingers grip her flesh arm and spin her around, you fall into her, causing her to fall backwards into the water, you naked and wet on top of her.  You jerk her harshly out of the depths and kiss her so fiercely that she gasps, and when she does you slip inside her mouth.  Your tongue caresses hers for a few moments before she reacts and kisses you back, and from there it only spirals downhill.

Fingers that have squeezed the trigger of countless firearms and killed hundreds in Ishval, begin to grope and tease, quickly finding the sensitive places on her body.  She’s arching and mewling and her hips are rocking against yours, and when you finally slip down to part her downy lips she breaks your soul deep kiss.  Lan Fan offers a strangled gasp of something in Xingese, and you can’t help a groan of your own as she tries to touch you in return.

“You _are_ dear to him,” you assure her.  “It’s _your_ face he sees in every one of the other women he beds.”  This is something you tell yourself all the time, something you have to make yourself believe every morning you wake up alone; something to make you get up and begin another day.

And it’s then you feel scarred palms gently tugging you away from the girl you’ve fallen so desperately in love with.  The Emperor is moving to take your place and you fight whoever is holding you back, trying to pull your hands from this stranger so you can hurt Ling for having hurt Lan Fan.

“Why now?!” you shout at him.  “She’s waited all this time and _now_ you come to her?  Now when _I_ can look after her and love as she deserves!?”  In the course of an hour your heart has now broken twice…

“Riza, it’s not your place,” you hear _his_ voice say.  “What do you think we were talking about back there in private?”  Strong arms that have not held you since the day your throat was slit wind around you and make you watch as His Celestial Highness gathers Lan Fan to his chest, tears in his squinty eyes as his mouth speaks to her in a language you don’t understand… but his body speaks of love and that is something anyone can understand. 

You are happy for Lan Fan when she realizes who is embracing her.  You’re happy for her when her face fills with a silent joy.  Your heart swells when they share a kiss because you know she’s finally getting her dream.  But at the same time you’re pissed and sad because _you_ really wanted her, she’s almost like your clone and you wanted to be the salve to her deep, emotional wounds.

“I think we should give them some privacy,” Roy murmurs as his voice warmly caresses your ear.  “Besides, you could use some strong coffee or whatever they serve for drinking too much here.”

You protest, “I’m not drunk.  And he shouldn’t have waited so damn long.”

You feel cool lips on your neck and Roy whispers, “And I shouldn’t have either.”

The rest is somewhat of a blur.  Roy pulls you from the spring and makes love to you on the Emperor’s gigantic bed.  There are tears from both of you, and at some point you fall asleep.  When morning comes, you’ve got a headache as big as Xing itself, but when you sit up and see the look on Lan Fan’s face, you smile through the pain.

She is curled around Ling, whose arm is cradling her to him.  His face is serene and peaceful and Lan Fan’s is subdued felicity.  The small, soft smile she wears in her sleep has been hard won, and you are happy for her.  You can see the outline of her body under the sheet and you remember the beauty of her lean physique in the moonlight.

Roy stirs beside you.  “I’ve got aspirin in my pants pocket if you want it.”  His fingers lace in yours and you realize that he saved you from making a mistake last night, much as you’d saved him from making one not all that long ago. 

You lean down and kiss him, saying, “I knew I loved you for a reason.”

And you do.  You love him for everything you’ve lived through together, for the future you want to help him build, for the big and the small things he’s done over the years for you and for all of Amestris.

But there will always be a small part of your heart that will beat in time with Lan Fan’s, a small part of your body that will burn with her touch, a small part of your soul that will never forget about your dark headed twin and your first night at the Royal Palace.  You wonder briefly if Roy and Ling are twins as well, but when your lover’s hands pull you back to bed and begin to wander, those thoughts are neatly extinguished.


	5. A Common Dominator

**Title** : A Common Dominator  
 **Author** : Sonja Jade  
 **Word Count** : 1,180  
 **Rating** : NC17  
 **Characters** : Ling/Al, Lan Fan (briefly)  
 **Prompt** : 12 Ling/Al (Brotherhood/Manga): I command you to worship me.  
 **Summary** : Sometimes Ling likes to pretend he and Al are someone else…  
 **Warnings** : Station/class reversal, role play  
 **Notes** : I think the idea of Al being a Prince of Xerxes is new…  Anyway, for whatever reason this was a challenge because I started it once way and then restarted it and came up with this.  Hope you like it!  HUGE thanks to [**missyquill**](http://missyquill.livejournal.com/) for the beta!  
  
Written for the spring round of the [**fma_slashfest**](http://fma-slashfest.livejournal.com/)!

  


The Royal bedchamber is dark and smells sweetly of exotic flowers and incense that seems to permeate the whole country of Xing.  And though the room itself is cool, the two young men in it are not.  They twist around each other, silken bed sheets woven between their toned bodies as their sweat slicked skin glimmers in the silvery moonlight.

The older of the two is smaller but is also more dominant than the golden haired Adonis beneath him.  His hips bump in time against his lover’s; his mouth rains kisses in every place he can reach…  “You’re gorgeous like this,” Ling pants into Al’s mouth.

Though the Amestrian seems to want to thank him for the compliment, the Emperor’s devilish mouth won’t let him reply.  So two muscular arms slip up and around Emperor Ling’s waist and tug him down, forcing their bodies together and certain engorged parts to rub against one another.  A collective moan erupts from the sealed mouths of the two men and it isn’t long before Ling finally disengages from his friend.

“I won’t do it unless you ask me,” he whispers breathlessly.  His divine fingers trace over Al’s strong jaw line, down his throat and over his Adam’s apple.  “I know what your body’s saying, but I want _you_ to tell me.”

Honey colored eyes are lidded and heavy with desperation.  Alphonse’s strong hands come up and gently hold the Emperor’s face.  “I want you…”

Ling chuckles.  “Now, now!  Say it the right way!”  Even in the scarce light, he can see Al’s cheeks darken.

“I…I-I…” Al stammers.  He chokes back a whimper as Ling thrusts slowly against him, their erections pressed tight together and stroking each other at an agonizing pace.  Ling encourages him to make his request again, and this time he speaks calmly and confidently:

“I command you to worship me.”

Ling rewards Al with a kiss to his swollen lips.  “Of course master.”  The Emperor forgets his station in life as he bends to the will of his foreign friend, outlining his taut body with nips and kisses and all manner of things to set Al to squirming with want.  No place is left untouched, not even his elbows.

Al threads his fingers in Ling’s long ponytail and gently tugs him downward, commanding without words what he wants.  Ling’s lips kiss their way down a slightly pudgy tummy, across strong hips (that are helplessly bucking on their own) and down to a nest of curls that’s a few shades darker than the gold that tops Al’s head.

“Open up,” Al demands gently.

When His Celestial Highness does open wide, he doesn’t give Al the chance to line up and enter his lips.  He eagerly takes his friend’s maleness inside and indeed worships the flushed, soft skin of his most intimate body part.  He smells like sweat and musk, but underneath that there’s a scent that’s distinctly Alphonse Elric as well, and Ling swallows down nearly seven inches of manhood to snuggle his nose into the place where Al’s leg and torso meet.

“Oh yes, just like that!” Al gasps.

Ling’s hand smooths up Al’s side in silent thanks.  He is glad he can bring this kind of pleasure to his friend, glad to help bring him out of his shell in the bedroom and shape him into the kind of lover he knows Al can be.  His mouth slips off and his hand takes its place.  “My master is delicious,” Ling murmurs as he laves the hairy sack below.

The room is filled with the wet sounds of the Emperor’s mouth and Al’s low howls of ecstasy.  They drive each other nearly to the point of no return, but Ling changes his strategy at the last moment and they begin again.  The night trudges slowly on as they continue, until finally Al’s hand clamps firmly down on an errant wrist.

“Give me your body.”  Another command for the young Emperor who makes all the rules.

Ling sits up, wiping his face of saliva and pre-cum.  “Of course, my master,” he pants.  Without wasting a second, he is up and straddling the Amestrian.  He holds Al’s cock upright and slides slowly down, shaking with his attempt to go slowly.  At last, he is fully seated and he is trembling with both desire and discomfort.

Breaking character for just a moment, Al reaches up and touches Ling’s face lightly, almost lovingly.  “Take as long as you need.”

Ling responds by taking Al’s hand and kissing the palm, his fingertips, and then sucking on the fingers themselves.  Before he’d even reached the last digit, he’d begun rocking his hips.  At first, he doesn’t move much over Al’s lap.  But as he adjusts to the swollen flesh inside him, he’s soon able to truly bounce and move as he wants, and with a slight adjustment of his position, he’s getting as much pleasure as he’s giving.

Al sits up and winds one arm around Ling’s back while reaching down and grabbing the bobbing member between his strong legs.  Ling’s hands are bracing himself on Al’s thighs, and Al is thrusting up as the Emperor of Xing is slamming down.  Over and over he connects with the sweet spot inside Ling that causes him to cry out his delight over and over again.

“Master!” he pants desperately.  “I’m going to come soon!”

They are both grunting and gasping, and Al pulls hard on Ling’s ponytail, listening as he moans blissfully.  “You’ve properly paid your respects to me.  Come when you want.”

Ling feels Al speed up a fraction and suddenly their rhythm falters.  It’s this hiccup that sends Ling keening over the edge and erupting between his and Al’s chests.  As he rides out the euphoric wave of his orgasm, Al’s breathing quickens and he growls as he fills Ling’s rear entrance with white warmth.  He leans forward and sucks hard on Ling’s neck as his release subsides, and when they’re able to breathe again, Al kisses Ling with a calm that their previous activities did not have.

“You honor me with your attentions.  The Prince of Xerxes is well satiated.”  He kisses him tenderly, flops backward in the bed and eases slowly out of Ling’s body.

“Thank you, Master.”  He is up and fetching a wet rag to clean them up with.  Just as he’s finishing with Al and wiping his own body off, Lan Fan knocks at the window.  “What is it, Lan Fan?”

“There is an urgent matter that requires your immediate attention in the royal stables, my lord.  The thieves have been captured,” she responds, keeping out of sight to spare her Lord and his guest any embarrassment.

Ling quickly dresses and the submissive manner in which he played with Al is put away for next time.  “I’ll meet you there in three minutes.”  He feels her ki dart away and he smiles at Al.  “This shouldn’t take long.  Feel free to make your way to the kitchen, I’ll meet you there when I’m finished.”

Now fully dressed and his proper role as foreign dignitary back in place, Al smiles back and bows.  “Yes, my Lord.”


	6. It's Only Gay If You Make Eye Contact

**Title** : It’s Only Gay If You Make Eye Contact  
 **Author** : Sonja Jade  
 **Word Count** : 2,546  
 **Rating** : NC17  
 **Characters** : Braeda, Havoc  
 **Prompt** : Any/Any (Any Canon): Straight-guy sexual scenarios (comparing dick size; lending a helping hand; circle jerks; watching het porn together, with or without masturbation; practicing dancing, kissing, or romantic conversation in preparation for one character having a date with a woman)  
 **Summary** : Two buds watching porn together… and the discoveries that come from such an event.  
 **Warnings** : None really, just two friends watching porn together, and all that goes along with that experience :)  
 **Notes** : OMG!!!  I actually did research on early porn.  GUYS.  I saw a clip of a porno from the 20’s that had the silent dialogue plaques.  That’s incredibly cool!  And the site I found it at was awesome too!  Dirty pictures from 1880’s!  I even called my dad who collects vintage erotica and got some help from him.  I’m so glad Dad gets what I do XD  Part of my ‘Whatever it Takes’ universe, but you don’t have to read that to get this.  This was written for the 2012 Spring round of the [](http://fma-slashfest.livejournal.com/profile)[**fma_slashfest**](http://fma-slashfest.livejournal.com/)!

  


It was Wednesday, a slow night unless a holiday happened to fall on it, or if the high schools happened to have graduation on that day of the week.  Gracia and Elysia Hughes had just left with Havoc’s nine month old daughter, and the ex-military man lit a smoke as he watched Braeda play bartender.  “Whaddya suppose those girls of ours are up to?”

Braeda laughed.  “If I know my wife, she’s up to her neck in Aerugoan mud!  She’ll be limp as a noodle when she gets back from that spa.  I bet Sciezka will enjoy it too, if they even let pregnant women in the mud baths.”

Havoc nodded.  “She’s hoping they will.  This baby’s been harder on her than Jackie was.  She didn’t puke once with her, but this one has made her sick every day.  And she’s gaining more weight too, but I’ll never tell her that.”

“Smart move,” the red head agreed.

“Like I care,” Jean smirked as he took a gulp of his lager.  “Just makes her tits bigger.”

They chuckled at that and fell into amiable silence as they watched diners come and go.  After a long while (time seems to drag on when business is slow…), it was finally time to close up shop.  Madame’s girls all teasingly offered Havoc a free ride in one of the rooms upstairs before leaving for the night.  Braeda shooed them out the door and threatened to make them clean up the kitchen if they dallied any longer.  The venom of his threat was weak though because he couldn’t keep a straight face.

He locked the door behind them and showed Havoc upstairs to the apartment he and Chris had fixed up but just couldn’t quite call home.  “Welcome to the spare place,” Braeda said as he ushered his friend inside.

Havoc looked around with wide eyes.  Expertly decorated, but not over the top; a gleaming, huge radio; comfy looking furniture and a great view overlooking a small city park, which by night turned into a maze of drug pushers, prostitutes and all kinds of other undesirables.  “Other than this being in a bad end of town, why on earth would you go back to that tiny shithole apartment?”

“Hey, my place ain’t a shithole!” Braeda barked as he opened the fridge and tugged out two beers.  “Besides, this place just never felt like home.  It always felt like I was still at work if I was here.  I liked being able to leave work and go home.  Chris did too, once she got used to it.”

Havoc opened their bottles with his pocketknife and said, “Well, I really appreciate you letting me stay here while Sciezka and Chris are at the spa.  I mean, we do pretty good at the store, but with the baby on the way and how expensive petrol is to get into Central from out in the sticks…  There’s no way I could have afforded a nice room like this.  Probably would’ve had to sleep in the truck.”

Braeda dismissed the appreciative thanks with a wave.  “You’re my best pal, it’s really no trouble at all.  Besides, that’s what we keep this place for anyway.”  He sat his beer down and walked to a spare closet near the kitchenette.  “Besides, Chris left something for you.”

Jean kicked his shoes off and stretched out on the couch, finding it quite comfy indeed.  “Sugar Tits left me a surprise?”  He listened as Braeda banged and bumped around in the closet.

“Grade A, ‘gen-you-wine’, one hundred percent pure, unadulterated and uncensored pornography, straight from Creta.”  He sat a 16mm projector and a large reel on the coffee table as he began to set up the movie screen.  “It’s got everything she knows you like: big boobs, tiny waist, oral, anal and dog position.  I think it might even be a threesome with two women, but I might be thinking of another reel she procured for someone else.”

Havoc sat up, instantly grabbing the reel.  “You have _porno_ that’s _not_ in a theater?  How in the hell did you manage that?”

Braeda smirked.  “Chris can get anything.  She’s got more contacts than a prison crime lord.  And you didn’t have to pay her in cigarettes for it!”  After fumbling with the screen, he finally got it to stay up and he turned his attention to the projector.  “Go plug this in, will ya?”

Jean grabbed the plug and wriggled it into place, then watched his friend carefully thread the leader strip into the projector.  Once he was sure it was in correctly, he put the strip into the return reel and told his friend to pick one end of the couch to sit on.  Once Havoc had chosen his side, Braeda took the opposite end, nearly two cushions between them.

He sat a box of tissues in the middle and awkwardly cleared his throat.  “Try not to make any noise and whatever you do, don’t look at me.”

“Hey man, I know the code; this ain’t my first time watchin’ a porno!  I just never did it outside of a theater before.”  Havoc made himself comfortable… by unbuckling and unzipping his pants just as a precaution.  “Roll it!”

Braeda switched the lamp off and started the film.  It began with the usual backwards countdown, and then rolled the opening placards.

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/sonjajade/pic/0002cqyc/)

Havoc leaned forward excitedly.  “Fuck yeah!  Randi Rose!” 

Braeda grinned to himself.  “34-24-38 with a D cup, a perfect 5’3” frame…  I told ya, Madame only gets the best for those she likes.” 

They watched as their heroine walked to a farm house, giving the illusion of a milk maid who’d been busy all morning.  It showed her pouring milk from a bucket into a butter churn, then sitting down to get to work.  A farmer comes out on the porch to watch her and a sort of dream sequence begins, flashing back and forth between action of Randi Rose churning butter and stroking the farmer’s cock.  Suddenly the farmer has an idea, goes back inside for a glass of ice water, then pretends to trip and spills most of it onto Randi’s dress, the thin white of her top soaked and her nipples visible through the wet mess.

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/sonjajade/pic/0002dpak/)

“Oh sweet God, woman…” Havoc mumbled to himself.  “Free those beasts already.”  His hand had wormed down, untied his boxers and rested inside them, readying himself for the moment when he could jerk his flesh to completion.

Braeda adjusted his growing length but otherwise just took a drink of his beer.  The action on the screen moved from the porch to the parlor, where the farmer was shown watching Randi disrobe out of the wet dress from a crack in a door.  And then her glorious bosom was free and her breasts were bared in all their firm, round and bouncy glory.

“Oh man, look at those beauties,” Havoc groaned, not truly expecting a response.  “I could eat ‘em up!”

“Fuck that,” Braeda replied with a grunt.  “Look at that perfect ass.  That’s an ass I could fuck for days.  Just smack those cheeks and grab handfuls of it while I fuck the hell out of her.”

“Dude,” Havoc began, “we could fuck her at the same time.  You get the back and I get the front.”

The projector’s _ratatatat_ sound began to bleed into a steady hum as the two of them watched as the farmer burst in and begged on his hands and knees for a taste of her succulent body.  The girl shrieked silently and covered herself, then she seemed to consider his request.

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/sonjajade/pic/0002ex4p/)

“Honey, I’ll give you more than a raise,” Havoc grunted, finally taking himself in hand.  “I’ll raise you up onto my cock and then let my friend here punish that ass.  You’ll be begging us both for more!”

Braeda didn’t know that Havoc was such a talker… and he would never admit that it was quite a turn on.  His eyes chanced a glance at him, a sneaky glance that he hoped went unnoticed.  Havoc’s cigarette was clenched tight in his teeth, sweat beaded at his temples and his blue eyes had this dominant stare… 

Braeda’s eyes snapped back to the screen as he unbuckled, unzipped, untied and reached in to grab his length.  “How the hell could we fuck her at the same time? Wouldn’t it be hard unless we were standing up?”

Havoc shook his head, his hand beginning to pump rhythmically.  “Nah, I’d lie down on the bed with my butt on the edge, she’d straddle me and then lean over and let you in.  You’d be fuckin’ her doggy style, and she would just have to take being split in half by us.”  He gave a choked chuckle, his breath beginning to come in short huffs.  “You’re married to a madam, you should know this!”

Yes, he was married to an ex-whore, but they weren’t all that adventurous in bed together, mostly because he didn’t want her to have to relive any bad memories of anyone she’d been with.  But he wondered…  What would it be like to share her with someone?  What would it _feel_ like?  Would he be able to feel the other man inside her through the thick membrane that separated her body into separate places?  Say Havoc was the one, would he be able to make out the details of his friend’s body?  The thought both intrigued and scared him…

His attention was drawn back to the movie when Havoc approved of the farmer’s decision to go down on the starlet.  “Oh honey, you like that don’tcha…  That old man’s tongue is nothing like what me or my pal here could give ya.  Braeda’s a professional in the cunnilingus department, and I’m no slouch myself.”

Braeda panted, “Who told you that?”

“Your wife did.  My wife asked her to give me some pointers and she started telling me everything you do.”  He gave Braeda a low glance, apparently at his cock.  “Shit man, forget my tongue, you got me beat in girth, too.  That thing’s gotta be three inches across!”

“Well you’re lots longer, so don’t complain.”  He was getting close… And Randi was being reamed out of her mind on the screen, her huge tits swinging back and forth and her ass jiggling in time with that old guy’s thrusts as they kneeled in the old style feather bed.

“But that thing’s a g-spot hammer!  I’m too long to hit it, I have to use my fingers on Sciezka…  Oh god, my sweet girl’s pussy,” Havoc panted.  “I wish she was here right now…  I’d tear her up!”   He jerked himself harder and Braeda could feel the motion of it through the couch.

When he glanced at Havoc again, his slender hips were jerking and his hand was moving furiously back and forth over the flushed red skin of his dick… and it caused a flare of desire to burn through Braeda’s body.  He found himself suddenly on the precipice of ecstasy and he grabbed a few tissues hurriedly as his orgasm overcame him.  He panted and gasped and grunted with the force of it, and Havoc followed him not long afterward.

The porno flickered on, neither man truly interested in it now, but since it was nearly over they continued to watch as the two performers on screen changed positions and did morally abhorrent things to each other.  After a long while, just as the movie was ending, Havoc said, “Would you hate me if I said I’ve wanted to sleep with the Madame for years?”

Braeda shook his head.  “No, because I’ve known that for a long time.”

Jean caught his eyes.  “Would you hate me if I said I think the three of us should play around some time?  Y’know, nothing serious or anything, just for something fun to do.”

Braeda knew Jean would never do anything to hurt Chris, unlike her previous johns who just shoved cash in her hand and their cock inside her with no thought to how she felt about any of it.  “With her and _me_?”

Havoc stubbed his cigarette out and said, “I’m not gay or anything, it’s just Madame’s got two holes… three if you count her mouth… and if I were with two women I’d still only have one dick to do anything with…”  He scratched his head, looking embarrassed.  “Forget I said anything, I don’t want you to think I’m gay or something.”

He smiled at his flustered friend.  “I don’t.  And… I’ll ask her what she thinks.  But what about Sciezka?”

Havoc laughed, rising to go to the bathroom and wash up a little.  “It was her idea.  But I bet she’d like to play too.”  He disappeared into the bathroom and Braeda wet a tissue at the kitchen sink and wiped at himself before tucking back into his pants.  He washed his hands and then rewound the film as he put the screen away.  Havoc helped to put the stuff back into the cramped closet and then Braeda finished his beer and said good night to his pal.

“If the food up here isn’t up to snuff, just raid the kitchen downstairs.  If you run out of cigarettes, Chris has got a couple extra packs under the bar.  Keep the doors locked and if you hear someone breaking in, there’s a Glock and shells in the medicine cabinet.”

“Alright!  Thanks again for the room,” Havoc waved.  He looked at Braeda funny for a moment and then said, “Y’know… don’t read to much into this, but you got a nice dick, man.  Be proud of ‘Ole Stumpy’.  I know Chris is.”

Braeda laughed.  He’d forgotten that’s what the guys in the academy had called it, teasing him so badly in the showers he’d almost stopped bathing.  “Thanks.  You’re not so bad looking yourself… for a guy I guess.”

They nodded to one another and then it happened- they made eye contact.  Two smiles fell away and blushes colored their cheeks.  The tension in the air was thick and Braeda realized that what started out as something fairly normal was leading to something more… 

And what was worse was knowing that their women would approve and encourage what was blossoming in the few feet between them.  The Captain spun on his heel quickly, muttered a quick goodnight and made his way home.  He couldn’t explain the guilt he felt and didn’t know why he felt the overwhelming urge to kiss his best friend’s mouth.  When he returned home, a few shots of his wife’s scotch helped to put him, and his racing thoughts, to bed.

And when the women came back from the spa, they were the only witnesses to the soul deep kiss that had been postponed two nights previously.  ‘ _Yeah,_ ’ Braeda thought as the two of them reveled in their openness and prepared for their wives to jump in, ‘ _this is definitely going to be a better use of the spare place than a private porno theater._ ’


	7. From Drachma With Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This actually wasn't an entry in the slashfest, but it's still slash!

**Title** : From Drachma with Love  
 **Author** : Sonja Jade  
 **Series** : Brotherhood  
 **Word Count** : 753  
 **Rating** : T  
 **Character(s)** : Havoc & Braeda  
 **Summary** : It was the worst undercover mission they’d ever taken.  Ever.  
 **Warnings** : Intolerance common of the time period.  
 **Author's Notes** : Is it bad that this was my first thought?  I’m going to marry [](http://missyquill.livejournal.com/profile)[**missyquill**](http://missyquill.livejournal.com/) one day for all her help.  We just have to figure out which one of us is moving.  Part of my 'Whatever it Takes' universe  
 **Prompt:** Comrades

  


“Havoc, you have the roughest hands I’ve ever felt,” Braeda bitched as he laced his fingers around his friend’s.

“Well, when you trade in your bar towel for being the stock boy of a general store, you tell me how soft your sausage fingers are.”  He wrapped his arm around Braeda’s shoulder and pulled him close.  “Now shut up or you’ll blow our cover.”

“So long as I don’t have to blow _you_ I think we’re in good shape.”  Braeda picked up his beer and took a long drink before pretending to snuggle into Havoc’s embrace.  He sighed, “I’m gonna kill my wife for this.”

They were in a tiny immigrant town on the northern border.  It was a refuge for Drachman escapees who managed to make it through the deep snows and over a break in the mountain range.  It was also the place where Madame Christmas normally sent one of the girls to meet a contact known only as Sergei for her state-of-the-art surveillance equipment.  He’d sent a coded notice in a vase full of snowdrops that he’d gotten a thrilling new item: it was a camera that was the size of a cigarette pack and could take decent photos in low light.  He’d even housed one of them in a fancy cigarette case specifically for Chris.

The only problem was Jerrica couldn’t make the trip because of the flu, India literally could not stand the bitter cold, as it caused her joints to ache so badly she couldn’t walk, and Vanessa was already in the south on a sleuthing mission of her own with Vato Falman.  So the Madame sent word that she’d send a pair of ‘comrades’ to get the goods.

And if Braeda had only known the real meaning of that term at the time he’d agreed to go north with Havoc, he would have refused.  His tall, blond friend ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek.  “C’mon, comrade, loosen up.  We’re supposed to be lovers, not stiff, awkward straight guys.”  Havoc had grown his beard out, and Braeda had grown out a short mustache to help disguise them even better.

Braeda grumbled under his breath and made a face as he put his hand on his friend’s knee.  “Where the hell is this guy?” 

“If you keep grumbling, I’m gonna make you dance with me.”

That effectively shut Braeda up.  A few more beers and he’d relaxed into Havoc’s shoulder like he belonged there.  A few more after that and they were both looking very much like a textbook example of ‘comrades’.  Of course, their contact arrived just when Havoc decided it was time for their every-thirty-minutes smooch.

“Ah, pardon please!” a very scruffy looking man said as he took off his woolen cap, the two men before him slow to separate due to drunkenness.  “You are the Tsarina’s Rook?”

Braeda blushed and offered the man a pained grin.  “You got it, my friend.”

‘Sergei’ laughed.  “She told me to expect comrades, but I did not expect you to be… so open!”

“Well,” Havoc chuckled as he lit a cigarette, “we’re in love and want everyone to know it!”

Their contact made sure the shadows were dark enough to slide a small flour sack full of tiny cameras across the table.  “I think you’ve had a little too much to drink,” he murmured as his accent suddenly eased up.  “If you’d been paying attention to the crowd rather than yourselves, you’d see that every man in here is a hair’s breadth away from lynching the both of you.  I’d say you took your roles a bit too seriously, friends.”

Braeda scooted away (Not too quickly!) and then slipped a gift wrapped stack of bills towards Sergei.  He drained his glass and looked toward Havoc.  “Then perhaps we should get going, Jack?”  Havoc slipped the cameras into his coat and the two Amestrians moved to their feet, _so ready_ to get the hell out of the frozen drinking hole.

But as they moved toward the door, Havoc could sense the men in the room were indeed staring at them, and not in a friendly or curious way.  Angry eyes and whispered foreign curses put a fire under each man to move a little faster.  It wasn’t long before both Amestrians were racing for their lives, ducking beer bottles, ashtrays, a few well aimed shot glasses, and in one instance a whole barstool, both of them swearing incoherently at the good that came of doing favors for Chris Mustang.


	8. Scotch and Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also not written for the slashfest comm.

**Title:** Scotch and Coffee  
 **Author:** Sonja Jade  
 **Fandom:** Fullmetal Alchemist  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Word Count:** 4,576  
 **Characters/Pairings** : Edward Elric/Roy Mustang  
 **Genre(s):** Hurt/Comfort, Yaoi  
 **Summary:** When Ed finds out the source of Roy’s despair, he tries to make things better and ends up with more than he bargained for…  
 **Warnings:** Alcoholism  
 **Disclaimer:** I have not ever, do not now, nor ever intend to own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within, nor to I make any money from this story.  All hail our bovine mistress.  
 **Notes:** Story written for the Secret Coconut, a fic exchange promoted by the community Saint Seiya Superfics Journal.  Of the three prompts I received, this was the only one I could even halfheartedly write a fic for.  I am a fan of this pairing but am not good at writing them, my apologies in advance.  Written for the prompt of: “Roy is depressed for a reason to be chosen by the author.  And Ed, whom already has something for him decides to cheer him up, introduce him to some woman, make him feel interested by someone.  However, it seems that Ed's feelings are already too strong... Make at least one scene where his feelings are made clear to Mustang but they may end up going different ways.”

  


_It’s the Promised Day again… We’ve won, we’re whole (well, mostly…), and everyone around us is cheering and smiling and laughing in relief and celebration._

_“Congratulations, Fullmetal,” I hear him say.  I look over to find him still blind, but still so optimistic that it’s almost sickening.  And then something inside me breaks and I run toward him, throw my arms around him and bury my face in the thick blue wool of his uniform, sobbing gratefully.  “Now, now!” he chuckles.  “What’s a big tough smartass like you doing crying into another man’s chest?”_

_“Thank you,” I choke out.  “Thank you for never giving up on us, for always encouraging us, and for putting your foot up my ass when I needed it.”  I hug him tighter as I feel his big hand pat me on the shoulder._

_“It’s alright, Ed.  We all need a little encouragement from time to time.”_

_I pull back from him, and the way he’s smiling at me with his eyes closed and the feel of his thumb kinda rubbing back and forth on my bare shoulder…  I tilt my head back and he leans down, our mouths opening for each other…_

“Brother!  Get up or we’re going to miss the train!”

Goddammit…  I hate when I get startled out of a deep sleep like that, even if it was _that_ dream I was having again.  My mouth feels crusty from dried drool and tastes like Al’s cat shit in it.  But I don’t have a whole lot of time now.  I dress as quickly as I can, then race downstairs to grab a cup of coffee.  Of course Winry and Granny have to throw their two Cenz in about me getting to bed earlier, and Al’s no help because he’s too busy reading another one of those letters Mei sent from Xing.  Finally, I seem to have gotten caught up with my slight delay.  On the way to the train station and on the train itself, Al and I don’t really talk much.  He’s thinking about that princess and I’m puzzling over that stupid dream that I can’t seem to quit having.

For one, why in the hell would I be dreaming about Colonel Shit?  I’d been having wet dreams about Winry for years and now all of the sudden I’m dreaming about making out with Mustang??  And second… why is it when I think about that damn dream, my stomach gets all tied up in knots and all the blood in my body wants to rush to my dick?  It’s like… knowing a sword can cut you and you shouldn’t touch it, but you wanna run your thumb over the blade anyway.  Do I really find that bastard _attractive_ on some subconscious level?  Is it just my hormones and physical chemistry catching up to me now that all the distractions of getting our bodies back are out of the way?  I know one thing: I know I’m not _in love_ with that son of a bitch.

Right?

It doesn’t matter.  Once we get on the train I get as comfortable as I can and I nap on the way into Central.  Thankfully I didn’t dream about him or anything else.  And when we arrived, he and all of his men and Hawkeye were there, waiting to see us for the first time since we’d returned home.

Just like before when Al and I roamed the country, everyone was more interested in him than me.  They asked him a shit ton of questions, things like ‘How do you feel?’ and ‘What was it like to go home in a real body?’  Yep, I’d gotten used to my little brother getting all the initial attention any time we went somewhere.  And then I sensed a very familiar presence at my side.

“And how are you holding up, Edward?”

“I’m doin’ great, Mustang.  How’re your eyes?” I asked him, noticing that he and Hawkeye don’t seem to be joined at the hip like usual.

He sighed, sounding exhausted and frustrated.  “I can see, but it’ll never be like my original vision was.  I’m nearsighted now, so I have to wear glasses when I read.  I don’t see blue or green, mostly just yellows and reds and oranges.  The sky looks gray to me all the time now.  It’s better than nothing, and I should be thankful I can see at all… but I can’t deny that I’m more than a little disappointed.” 

“Oh…”  What the hell could you say to that?  “I’m sorry your vision wasn’t fully restored, Colonel.”

He huffed and looked away.  “As long as I can see to restore Ishval, that’s all that matters.”

“You and Lt. Hawkeye seem like you’re avoiding each other…” I comment as I watch how she moves away from us as we approach the others.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Fullmetal.”

And that was the end of that discussion.  Afterward, we climbed into a car with Braeda and Mustang, and the rest all piled into another car, even Havoc who was managing to walk with a cane.  We arrived at a restaurant that I used to go to a lot when we were in Central, a place I thought Al would thoroughly enjoy, and we were greeted by even more people we knew: Gracia and Elysia Hughes, Darius, Heinkel, Jerso and Zampano, Yoki, Maj. Miles (who was now also under Mustang), and Scar.  If you didn’t pay too much attention to the awkwardness between Mustang and Hawkeye, it was a very nice visit.  Mustang actually sat next to me the whole time, getting drunker and drunker until he finally convinced me and Al to take ‘just one drink’ in celebration.  He’s actually a pretty nice guy when he’s not so uptight and smug.  It’s a shame he’s gotta be three sheets to the wind in order to be a decent human being.

At the end of the evening, Hawkeye seemed like she didn’t want to bother with seeing the Colonel home, so Mustang naturally volunteered me to help walk him home, which thankfully wasn’t all that far of a walk.  He babbled non stop the whole way there, about stupid things, about great things, about the weather.  He weaved and wobbled down the street and up the steps to his apartment, and then he invited me in to help make sure he didn’t set the place on fire while making a pot of coffee.

His apartment was sad.  There were boxes everywhere, like he’d just moved in.  There was a picture of him and Hughes on the wall, evidently from their academy days, and other than a small clock in the kitchen, that was the only thing on the walls.  A small table and two chairs were the only furniture that I saw, but I assume he had a bed…  The place felt cold and lonely…  Now it made sense that sometimes when I would come in to give my reports, he smelled like whiskey.  I’d drink too if this is where I lived.

“You still take it black, Ed?” he slurred.

“Don’t worry about me, Colonel,” I said gently.  “I really need to get back to the hotel…”

He stopped for a moment and looked blankly out the window, which had no shade or curtain to cover it.  “I almost feel like normal again with you around.”  He turned toward me and must’ve seen my confused expression, because he continued, “Everything’s all different now.  My unit’s back together but Miles is with us now, I answer to all new staff, Hawkeye and me…”  He sighed and went back to setting up the percolator.

“What happened?” I asked.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but I knew he needed to tell someone.  And after the dreams I kept having about him, something inside me ached for him to be happy again.

“I don’t know if you’d understand.”

“No sweat off my ass if you don’t wanna share!” I said a little too harshly.  Then I added a little less gruffly, “Even if I don’t understand, you could still get it off your chest.”  I watched as he turned toward me, a defeated look on his face.  I actually thought for a moment he was going to bawl like a baby.

“I… I’ve known her for almost half my life, and I’ve never felt for another woman the way I feel for her.  So I finally found the courage to tell her so.  Not only did she inform me that she didn’t feel the same, but she was a little… disgusted. _More_ than a little disgusted, truth be told…  Now there’s all this awkwardness between us and everything jus’ feels… off.”  He looked down at his hands.  “I should’ve kept my mouth shut and gone on loving her the way I have for years: secretly.”

I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if Winry had rejected my confession to her.  Not that I _had_ confessed anything…  And what had happened to the Colonel is exactly why I’d kept my own mouth shut.  “There has to be some kind of redemption though in that she knows the truth,” I offered.  “There’s no way she can’t appreciate that you hold her in such high regard, especially since you’ve been Central’s bicycle with nearly every woman here takin’ a ride.”

“How eloquent, Fullmetal,” he sneered as the percolator began to slow.  “So here I am, still a Colonel, half blind, heartbroken…  Makes me wonder some days why I’m still sucking wind.”  He reached for a coffee mug, but hesitated a moment and then reached for a half empty bottle of scotch instead.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink for one night?” I asked.

“Help yourself to the coffee, I’m going to bed.”  And he did just that, staggering off toward what I assumed was his bedroom, but not before I saw the gleam of a fresh tear glimmering on his cheek.

I got up and followed him.  I don’t know why, I just knew I couldn’t leave him like that.  By the time I’d gotten to the bedroom, he’d gotten his boots off and was half undressed… and I watched as he tipped the bottle back and drained it.  He belched and somehow got his shirt off, then flopped into his bed wearing his boxers, socks and undershirt.

“Is this what you do every night?” I asked quietly.

“Just about,” he replied, his pillow muffling him.

I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed.  “This isn’t right.  We were the heroes; everything’s supposed to work out for us.”

“Things worked out better for you boys at least.  You deserved that much.”

“But you deserved something too, especially after being forced to do human transmutation.  Maybe I could talk to Lt. Hawkeye, see if I can put in a good word for you-”

He cut me off.  “Don’t bother.  I just want to make sure that I make it to the Führer’s seat, and at least keep my promise to Maes.”  He rolled over, and that was when I felt those knots in my stomach from those dreams spring to life.  I had never felt anything like that toward the Colonel in person before, and I was glad it was dark in his room so he didn’t see my face turn red.  “Y’know, Fullmetal?  You’re a good kid.  I always wanted to tell you that but was afraid it would go to your head.”

I swallowed, my stomach all twisted up and my cheeks feeling like they were on fire.  “Uh… thanks.  I always tried my best, I guess.”

He gave a tired, slow chuckle, whether it was because he was genuinely tired or three sheets to the wind I couldn’t say.  “I’m close to passin’ out, Ed.  Jus’ make sure y’lock th’ door behind ya, m’kay?”

I stood up.  “Alright.  Goodnight, Mustang.”

“G’night…  Hey!  Unplug th’ coffee pot please!”

I told him I would and shut the door to a crack, and then I went to the kitchen where I splashed some cool water on my face and let my knotted up insides unwind.  I didn’t want to leave him there like that, but what else could I do?  I walked all the way back to the hotel, thinking on how I could bring that man just a little bit of happiness.

The next morning I told Al what I’d found out, and he suggested that we set him up on a date with another woman, someone he knew but hadn’t dated before.  I was glad we had a few days in Central because it took us a while to find someone who would go out with him.  After a little convincing that it would only be a one time thing unless she decided to pursue it further, 2nd Lt. Maria Ross agreed to go out to dinner and maybe dancing if dinner went well.  We set it all up, then went to the Colonel and told him to just show up in nice clothes at Dino’s on 34th Avenue.  It took a little wrangling, but he finally agreed.

I rode with him to the restaurant while Al waited with Lt. Ross.  He kept going on about how this really wasn’t necessary, even though the gesture was truly appreciated.

“Just go out and have a good time, idiot!” I told him.  “If you play your cards right, she’ll agree to another date, so don’t fuck it up!”

He smiled this smug little smirk and set my stomach to twisting up again.  “I think I can do this, Ed.  I _am_ sort of a professional dater.”

I turned to look out the window, hiding my blushing cheeks.  “Tch…  Just go have a good time and try not to drink too much.”

When we finally arrived, Ross was standing demurely in front of the place in a pale yellow dress with a light shawl around her shoulders, some sort of sparkly hair pins and wearing a bright smile.  Mustang seemed to be pleasantly surprised with her, and he took her hand and kissed the back of it, then offered her his arm.  She took it with a little giggle and a slight blush, and then Al and I left them to their evening.

We didn’t stick around to see the results; instead we had dinner with the Hughes’.  That went really well.  We played cards and talked until it was well past Elysia’s bedtime, and then we came back to the hotel room to turn in for the night.  Sometime around 2 am, the telephone rang and I grabbed it.

“Who is it?” I snarled, angry at whoever had called so late at night.

“Fullmetal,” I heard Mustang slur over the line.  “I’m s’rry, I know ‘s late.  Can you come o’er?  I jus’ need someone to lis’n.”

“Do you have any idea what time it is, you bastard?  Two o’clock in the fucking morning! 0200 hours you stupid ass!”

The man cried like a boy who’d lost his dog, and once I threatened to hang up on him, he begged, “Please Ed!  I jus’ need a frien’ly ear!”

“Hey!  I never said we were friends!”

“Please…  Jus’ come o’er, least til I pass out.”

He sounded so sad and pitiful.  I started to tell him to go piss up a rope, but I thought he might try to off himself or something stupid.  “Alright, gimme about fifteen minutes.”

“I’ll leave th’ door unlocked.  Come soon.”

I hung up the phone and got dressed, Al awake at this point and asking what was going on.  I told him Colonel Crybaby was hiving a bad night and that I’d be back in a little bit, then I tugged on my boots and hit the door. 

When I got there, the door was indeed unlocked, and Roy was holding a scotch bottle like it would run away from him if he loosened his grip.  He was sobbing into the crook of his arm, he was in his undershirt and his dress slacks, one sock on and one sock off, and he looked like hell. 

“Alright, here I am!  Now what the hell happened?” I growled.

I sat down across from him at his tiny kitchen table and waited for an answer.  After what felt like an eternity, he straightened up and began to tell me about his date.  The evening had begun well enough: a delicious dinner and great conversation.  They decided to go dancing and that’s when trouble began.  “Saw Hawkeye there with someone, and I got so jealous of th’ man she ‘as with…” he slurred.  “He looked nothin’ like me.  Long red hair tied back, tall an’ stocky, long, f’uffy sideburns…  She looked so happy with him, like she di’n’t have a care in th’ world…  So I danced real close to her an’ said ‘Eh, what are you doin’ here?’ an’ she gave me ‘is look… like she wanted t’ kill me.  An’ then I cut in an’ Ross took th’ red headed giant…  Riza an’ I di’n’t even finish th’ dance ‘fore she stormed away from me.”  He took another swallow and said sadly, “I think she wouldn’t care if I never saw her again.”

I took the bottle away from him and started making a pot of coffee.  “You’re losing your friendship with her because you can’t accept that she doesn’t see you as a potential lover.  And likely you’re just creeping her out even more.”

“I jus’ want someone to love, too.  Someone I can wake up to ev’ryday, someone that needs me as much as I need them…”  He laid his cheek on the table and closed his eyes, tears leaking from them.  “Why doesn’t anybody want _me_?”

He started quietly crying again, and I looked down to see my hands trembling.  The thing was, someone _did_ want him, even if that person was terrified to admit it to himself.  I wanted the same thing as he did: I wanted to be number one to someone, Winry I originally thought.  But there was no doubt about it that automail was always going to be her number one.  I watched my brother be number one to a girl who could barely speak our language when he was still a suit of armor, yet I hadn’t found that kind of love for myself and I was filled with jealousy anytime he got a letter from her.  Despite the miles between them, she still managed to let him know he was her first priority and they were already talking about getting married in a few years.

I don’t know if it was the sight of him crying like he was the last person on earth, or if it was the ache in my own heart from knowing exactly how he felt, or if it was the knowledge that he probably wouldn’t remember what I was about to say, but I found the courage to tell him, “I…  I have dreams about you sometimes.”  He opened his eyes and looked blearily at me, but I couldn’t meet his gaze.  “I dream that… that we’re kissing.  And we’re so happy together, and everyone is happy for us…  I dunno why, but I dream about that a lot.”

He didn’t say anything, only kept looking at me.  I sat a mug of coffee down in front of him and took a scalding sip of my own.  “I know what that feels like, what you’re going through.  But you can’t just stop trying to find something that works for you.  So Riza isn’t the one.  There’s plenty others out there who would make a better partner for you.  There’s somebody out there that wants to give you the good kind of relationship that you deserve.  And when you find it, you can finally prove to Riza you’re not a creep and you can be friends again.”

“Y’ like men, Fullmetal?”

I squirmed in my seat, not really sure how to answer that.  I took a gulp of coffee (and instantly regretted doing it when it felt like my throat was melting down into my belly) and said, “I don’t know.  I thought I loved Winry, but it’s clear she doesn’t feel the same way, maybe because we’re practically brother and sister.  But I’ve had no interest in other girls, and I’ve only had… dirty dreams… about her and… you.”

He sat up and no doubt stared at my burning red face.  Then he took a drink of his coffee and smiled at me.  “I’m flattered.”

“Well don’t be,” I scowled.  “I’m sure it’s just some kind of hormonal imbalance or something-”

“I’d love t’ see what happens if we were t’ go out t’gether.”

“You’re definitely drunk,” I huffed.

“Yes, but I’m clear headed enough t’ know that I may never have another chance to find out how you act on a date.”

“I’m not going out anywhere in public with you on a date,” I grumbled, kicking my ass mentally for having said anything.

“Then we’ll stay in.  And maybe,” he said smirking devilishly at me and making my stomach flip, “we can make some of those dreams come true.”

“Alright,” I said standing up to dump my coffee down the sink, “Looks like you’re feeling better, so I’m gonna go back to the hotel and get some fuckin’ sleep!”

“You could stay the night here,” Roy grinned.  “I won’t molest you until at least our first date.”

I was overcome with nerves, caught between jumping up and down with delight and puking my guts up right there at the sink.  And then I felt him press against my back and I forgot how to breathe.  His arms pinned me between him and the countertop, and I could feel his warm breath on my neck as he spoke in his deep voice…

“I’ve never mentioned it out loud before, but there’s something about your neck here that I’ve always liked…”  Despite the stench of the liquor rolling out of his mouth, I knew, this was something I wanted, something I _needed_ from him.  And just as I hoped (begged, pleaded with whatever powers lie beyond this realm), he dropped a soft kiss on my neck and kept going until he was behind my ear, and then I heard him smelling my hair.

“You’re shaking,” he murmured before kissing the other side as thoroughly as the first.

“Well whaddya expect!?  You’ve got me trapped between your arms-”

“And you’re afraid of loving every second of it.”

I’d been found out.  And just when I was sure I was going to die at the feel of his lips on my skin, one of his arms came around my waist and he tugged me closer to him.

“You were incredibly brave, Edward.  It took balls to tell me about those dreams.”  I could feel _IT_ pressing into my butt… but that wasn’t nearly as frightening as realizing my own was fully awake and crying out for attention too.  As if he’d read my mind, his big hand slid from my stomach to where an impromptu tent had sprung up, and he squeezed and rubbed and stroked and despite biting my lip, a warble of a whimper bubbled up from deep in my belly.  My mind was screaming at how awful this was going to be, that I would be opening a can of worms that would just be trouble in the end, but my body was crying out for more, much more…

“W-w-wait!” I managed to blurt out.  “I thought you were going to wait to molest me!”  My dick would have strangled me at that point I’m sure.  My first sexual experience should be more planned out than this, right?  A spontaneous quickie with a drunk man who used to be my superior wasn’t exactly the ideal scenario I’d always imagined, after all.

“But you seem so ready, Ed,” he whispered as he licked my earlobe and sent fresh desire shooting to my groin.  “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”  It was then I noticed he wasn’t slurring anymore…  Was it _this_ that cleared his head or the coffee?  It was so hard to think with him touching me and setting my body alight like he was, but suddenly I had a terrifying thought.

“I don’t wanna be the bitch,” I cried out, shivering as he slid his hand into my boxers.

“Alright,” he said, and then suddenly his heat was gone from my back and I thought I would cry out of frustration.  Then he said, “Turn around,” and I leapt for joy inside.  He wasn’t through with me after all.

I turned slowly around and he was smiling softly at me, which made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.  He gave a single kiss to the corner of my mouth, and then fell gently to his knees before me, fingers working at my fly and my throat unable to utter a sound.  He freed my cock from its confines and stroked it while he looked me in the eye.

“I’ll be the bitch this first time, then.”  He opened his mouth and swallowed my tip, and after that, my mind shut completely off and I threw myself into enjoying his mouth wrapped around me.  I’d never felt anything so awesome and pleasurable in my entire life…  One hand stroked what he couldn’t take in, the other fondled and coddled and rolled my nuts slowly and wonderfully, and he let me grab the back of his head when instinct took over and I exploded moments later into the back of his throat.

When I let him go, he pulled off of me quickly, gasping for air and coughing.  “Damn, Ed…  You didn’t have to gag me.”  My face reddened and I apologized, but then he stood up and pulled me into a hug.  He kissed the top of my head and held me, not caring that my shrinking cock was leaking the remains of my orgasm all over his leg.  “Thank you for coming over.  I feel a lot better.”

I could feel that he was still hard, and though I had no idea what to do really or how to tell him I wanted to take care of his ache too, I hugged him back and said, “Uh… what about you?”

“I’ll take care of it, myself.  I’ve got plenty to fantasize about now.”

“Are we, um…  Are we, like… going out… or something now?”

“I would love it if we were,” he said as he cupped my face and looked into my eyes.  “But only if you agree to it.  I won’t force you, though you seemed to like the idea a moment ago when you were filling my mouth with your cum.”  He must’ve seen the deep blush in my face, because he laughed and said, “You’re going to have to get over your embarrassment, Ed.”  Then he whispered darkly in my ear as he squeezed my ass, “Though it does make you incredibly cute.”

I yelled that I didn’t wanna be cute, that I didn’t wanna be the girly bitch in a gay relationship, and he cut me off with a searing kiss, then hefted me up and carried me to his bedroom.  When he started showing me how much fun being the bitch could be I changed my mind.


	9. This Mess is a Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the fma_gift_exchange community.

**Title:** This Mess is a Place  
 **Artist/Author/Gift Granter:** sonjajade  
 **Request:** seatbeltdrivein- 'Roy/Ed - domestic stuff, it's the little things that really cause the most trouble (no angst, please !)'  
 **Rating:** PG-13 (Ed's mouth)  
 **Disclaimer:** Arakawa-sensei owns all, I just play Barbies with her characters.  
 **Notes:** Inspired by my own love/hate relationship with my husband. Title taken from a tattoo on a fictional character name William Murderface from Adult Swim's "Metalocalypse".

* * *

Roy stood looking at the sink… How was it that one young man could make such a disgusting mess? Clumps of shaving cream with sprinkles of a budding beard in them fought for dominance against mint green blobs of foamy toothpaste on the white porcelain. Long strands of stray hair pooled in random curly-cue patterns on the floor… shorter hairs graced the lip of the toilet.

"Gross…" he muttered as he jerked the knobs on full blast and tried to clean out the evidence that Ed ever cleaned that filthy little mouth of his. He then proceeded to shave his own face in the way the military had taught him: lather up, rinse your hand and blade, stop the drain, and shave, rinse blade, repeat. When he was finished he wiped the basin down with his hand before going on to brush his teeth: twenty seconds on the sides of the left molars, twenty seconds on the tops of the left bottom molars, twenty seconds… twenty seconds… He rinsed with lukewarm water, then patted his face and mouth dry before turning to walk into their shared bedroom, where the mess only got worse.

Clothing was everywhere. Clean, dirty, and in-between was scattered haphazardly on Ed's side of the room. And as Roy's nose detected, there was even a change in odor from the bathroom to the bedroom. It smelled worse in here. "Dammit!" the General grumbled as he rounded up the disaster known as Ed's wardrobe and stuffed it angrily into the clothes hamper, which was now overflowing. With a frustrated sigh, Roy dressed and hauled the hamper down a short hallway to the washer, wondering for the first time today where his lover was. It wasn't like him to be missing for the whole morning after all.

"Ed!" Roy called. An answer came floating up the stairs.

"What!"

"Where are you?"

"Well, the coffee you're smelling didn't make itself, did it? Where do you think I am!" he shouted from across the townhouse.

Roy hadn't even stopped to think about that. There was that delicious fresh coffee scent in the air, and now that he was paying attention, he could also smell the beginnings of toast and sausage, the only things Ed could cook without fucking it up. The General blinked. _Why_ was _Ed_ **cooking**? He tossed a bundle of clothes into the washer without sorting it, started it and then came quickly down the stairs.

When he got to the kitchen, he was awed. While the master bath and bedroom had been an utter disaster zone, the kitchen was sparkling, despite the greasy patties frying happily away in the skillet. There was a clean glass filled with orange juice at Roy's spot, his favorite mug sitting waiting to be filled with fresh coffee, a plate with freshly buttered not-burned toast on it and a side of jam in a rather dainty little dish. The silverware, while mismatched in pattern, was neatly set in the proper places (when did Ed have time to learn how to set a table? Had he always known?) and Ed sat the percolator on the table between the two plates before turning back to the stove.

"What…"

"Sit."

"But what's goi-"

"Sit, dammit! Sausage is done and I don't want you in the way!" Ed grabbed the newspaper from countertop and laid it by Roy's plate as the General slid obediently into his chair..

"Edward, what's all this for?"

At first he didn't say anything. He fiddled with the stove for a moment and then served Mustang some patties directly from the pan, then slid a few onto his own plate. "Well, I know I haven't been around much lately. And I know when I come home at night I've been tired and in a pissy mood. That doesn't make me easy to live with, and I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry for being an asswipe the past couple of weeks." Edward had been working late on compiling his notes on alchemy and his brother's notes on alkahestry and trying to find the link between the two. He was convinced he _almost_ had it, but that had been nearly three weeks ago.

He sat down and reached for his fork, but then Roy reached over and covered his hand with his. "It's alright. I know you're busy right now." Ed's eyes seemed to be clouded with guilt still. "If it will make you feel better, I accept your apology, though I don't really think there's anything to forgive."

"Thank you," Ed mumbled into his plate. When Roy started chuckling, he raised his eyes from the sausage he'd been staring a hole into. "What!"

"You've never been easy to live with, yet this is the first time you've ever tried to apologize for it!"

A look of horror came across Ed's face. "Whadya mean! You tryin' to say I'm a terrible roommate?" Roy couldn't answer for laughing and Ed pressed the issue a little further, standing up and walking over to slug the General in the arm to make him stop that ridiculous cackling. "Answer me, dammit!"

Wiping tears from his eyes, Roy composed himself enough to answer. "You leave a mess wherever you go, you're always pissed off about something, you eat everything in sight and you never help with the chores! Always too busy with your nose in some dusty old alchemy tome or typing away on that beat up typewriter of yours! The past few weeks have actually been better in some ways because at least there's a _reason_ for that kind of behavior!"

Ed turned away from him, probably so he could go sulk in the study, but Roy grabbed his hand and jerked him backwards and into his lap. Ed tried to get up, but Roy didn't let him. "Hey. Listen. Your hair trigger temper and your filthiness and your dedication to your research is part of what endears you to me. Yes, it sometimes irritates me that you can't rinse the bathroom sink out in the morning or put a book down to put your clothes in the hamper, but I love you just the same." He felt Ed's tense body relax a little. "Maybe we both could take the day off, spend some time doing nothing together. Or maybe…" his hand slid slowly down Ed's chest. "Maybe we could spend some time definitely doing something we haven't done in a while."

Ed crossed his arms over Roy's, trying desperately not to shiver under his tender touches. "You just raked me over the coals and now you wanna fuck me?"

"You rake _everything_ over the coals and you still want to fuck me," said Roy as his palm passed over the front of Ed's tented trousers. He lightly squeezed and listened to his lover gasp at the sensation. "Maybe if we go upstairs, it'll free the roadblock that's keeping you from figuring out that link you're searching for," Roy mumbled as he kissed the soft skin behind Ed's ear.

"But… I'm so close… The answer is just-"

"You can top…"

Ed stood up in a flash, dragging Roy behind him, breakfast forgotten.


	10. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed finds Roy moping in a Central bar and helps get him back on track.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: I’m not who you think I am

**Title** : Shadows  
 **Fandom** : FMA:B (sorry, it’s the only one I’m really familiar with!)  
 **Author:** Sonja Jade  
 **Chars/Pairs** : Roy/Ed  
 **Genres** : H/C  
 **Warnings** : AU from canon ending  
 **Word Count** : 1,301  
 **Summary** : Ed finds Roy moping in a Central bar and helps get him back on track.  
 **Prompt** : drummerdancer’s prompt of “I’m not who you think I am”

 

It would be years before Ed would find common ground with the commander he loathed while he was in the Amestrian Army.  Ed always believed the man to be a full blown idiot with no scruples or moral compass.  But one night when he rolled into Central, hoping to catch the library before it closed, he discovered that he and Mustang and lots more in common that he ever imagined.  
  
He stopped in a hole-in-the-wall bar after leaving the library, needing just a beer to wet his whistle before trying to find lodgings for the night.  He found his former commander staring sadly into a glass of scotch whiskey, seemingly far away and very alone with his thoughts.  He sat down next to the man and wondered how long it would take him to realize he was sitting there.  
  
Minutes ticked by and Mustang didn’t even look his way.  So he reached over and tapped his elbow.  
  
The man’s face seem to become even moodier, if it were possible.  He looked back to his glass, muttering, “Hey, Fullmetal.”  
  
“That ain’t my name, _Flame_.  And what’s got you so depressed?”  
  
“Don’t you have a pretty blonde mechanic to get back to?” he retorted, not looking back at Ed.  
  
Ed sighed playing with his beer bottle.  “It didn’t work out.  We decided we’d be better apart.”  Then he poked Mustang in the ribs.  “And where’s your blonde shadow?”  
  
Instead of answering, he got up and began walking toward a coat rack to get his coat and scarf.  Ed quickly paid both tabs and chased after him, wondering why Colonel Jackass was in such an incredibly foul mood.  He ran to catch up to him and he jerked the whiskey glass from his cold fingers and flung it into an alley.  
  
“What the fuck’s wrong with you, Mustang?”  
  
“Get on a train and get out of my face,” he sneered back, trying to walk around Ed, but Ed wasn’t letting that happen.  
  
“Not ‘til you fuckin’ talk to me and tell me what’s goin’ on!”  When he made no move to listen he sighed and said, “Guess I’m gonna have to call Hawkeye to wrangle you into talking.”  
  
“Good luck getting her on her honeymoon,” he said as he finally shoved past him.  He walked slowly, but still swayed a bit on his feet.  
  
Ed stood gaping after him.  When he finally moved, he caught up easily.  “Honeymoon?  I didn’t even know she was seeing someone.”  
  
“Yeah, not many did.”  
  
“And you just…  You just let her go through with it?”  
  
He stopped and looked at Edward.  “Did I have any other choice?”  
  
Ed flailed, answering, “Yes!  There’s that whole part about ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’!  You shoulda spoke up!”  
  
“You should’ve seen her, Ed…  Beautiful in white.  Smiling- wide.  I couldn’t stop her from having that.  She deserved that.  All I can give her is reminders of bad memories.  No, I wasn’t going to speak up.”  He laughed weakly.  “Isn’t the old saying, ‘If you love something let it go.  If it comes back to you it was meant to be’?  If that’s the case, she’ll be back.”  
  
Ed shook his head and looked up at the sky.  “If that was the case, my mother would still be alive and I would have all my limbs.”  
  
A new sadness clouded the man’s eyes.  “I can barely remember my mother’s face.”  
  
Ed took him by the arm and started steering him down the street.  “You need to get home.”  
  
“I want to crawl into my grave,” he whispered.  
  
“Not tonight you don’t,” Ed hissed.  “You’ve come too far to do that.”  
  
“And I have so far still to go…  And I’m just tired of trying to keep going.”  His voice cracked.  “When she comes back-  How can I?”  
  
Ed managed to get him to pull himself together so they could walk to his townhouse, then once they arrived, Ed went about making Mustang some coffee to help combat all that alcohol in his system.  Roy sat down at the kitchen table, elbows propped up and his hands cradling his head as he spoke.  
  
“I know you and I have never seen eye to eye really, Edward.  But I’m really not who you think I am.”  He looked up at him, eyes red with unshed tears and pent up anguish.  “You probably think I’m this incredibly selfish, super ambitious moron.  That I wanted to become Fuhrer from the beginning, but that’s so far from the truth.  I wanted to be an alchemist.  I wanted to help others, and the first person I wanted to help was Riza.”  
  
Ed listened closely, knowing that apparently Mustang just really needed to get some shit off his chest.  “How did you want to help her?”  
  
“When I first went to stay with her and her father, I fell in love with her.  And they lived in deplorable conditions- I wanted to marry her and take her away and take care of her, show her father that I was trustworthy for the secrets of flame alchemy.  I wanted to give her children, a safe and modest home, a life that was happy and good and full of everything she ever wanted.  Instead I gave her nothing but heartache and pain-”  
  
“She had some choice in the matter,” interrupted Ed.  “Do you think she would have followed you anywhere if she hadn’t wanted to?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter.  I loved her, damn it!  I _still_ love her!  And I wish I’d never joined the army now, I wish I’d stuck to my original plan.”  
  
Ed sat two mismatched mugs on the table full of steaming coffee.  “You think I planned on being the youngest State Alchemist?  You think I wanted to know what it was like to suffer?  First with my mother’s death, and then with losing Al?  I did what I had to do to accomplish my goals.  And I had some help from a morally bankrupt Colonel who put a boot up my ass when I needed it.”  He smiled at Roy from across the table.  “You can’t change what’s already happened.  But you can change where you go from here.  And if you need some help getting there, I have a solid metal foot I can put up your ass to steer you in the right direction.”  
  
Roy sagged back into his chair as Ed sipped at his coffee.  “I want to help people, even now when I feel so bitter.  If I get the Fuhrer’s seat, I can help _all_ the people.”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“And who do I find to be my other half now that Riza can’t?”  
  
Ed rose and came to his side.  “Do you still need a blonde shadow?” he asked quietly.  Roy nodded weakly.  Ed laughed quietly.  “I’m not who you think I am, either.  There’s a reason it didn’t work between me and Winry.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Yeah,” he said as he leaned down and kissed Roy gently on the mouth.  Ed’s hand landed on the man’s shoulder and Roy began to respond to his touch.  He pushed his chair back from the table and Ed straddled his lap.  Their mouths worked against each other, Roy’s hands holding Ed’s back tenderly.  When they parted for air, he gazed at him.  
  
“I don’t want a blonde shadow.  I want a lover to stand beside me, and we’ll weather the storms together.”  
  
“I can do that,” Ed answered quietly.  
  
“Don’t do it for my sake.  Do it because you want to be here with me, not out of pity.”  
  
Ed snorted.  “I don’t pity your poor ass.  Your choices before brought you to this moment.  My choices have brought me here.  And I think I like here.”  
  
Another kiss and they forgot about talking altogether.


End file.
